Dear Johnnie Boden
Dear Johnnie Boden,
Imagine my excitement when my denim clamdiggers arrived! I poured myself into them without hesitation and pranced about my boudoir like a show pony.
Tragically I discover that the seam hugging my lady garden is askew, once aligned at the rear it is a good few inches west of central up front. I confess that I am usually a symmetrical lady, dressing neither to the left or right but straight down the middle.
I wonder if my spaniels have shifted with age, perhaps it is a direct result of too much testosterone in the water? I confess I have left the seat up lately and have taken to watching documentaries about super structures.
Clearly I am an anatomical freak, and I apologise for letting you down.
Thank goodness, Mr Boden, that you are practically perfect in every way.
Kind regards,
Miss Hope
July 21st, 2009 at 8:49 am
Dear Miss Hope,
I am also having gusset problems. Big holes keep appearing in mine. I’m trying to persuade myself that it’s not from a lack of basic hygiene, but who knows for sure. Standards have certainly fallen in that area.
Warm regards,
Toby Ray
July 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Toby Ray, Have you read Wetlands?
July 22nd, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Not yet, but by golly I will!!
July 23rd, 2009 at 6:57 pm
July 30th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Oh goodie, a gusset story on a rainy day, it’s not all doom and gloom …
August 6th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Stop laughing it is really uncomfortable!
May 28th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
I have never been prouder to have come from Sunderland (apart from finding that we’d introduced cholera to the rest of Britain) than when I read your blog, especially ‘Dear Jonny Boden’. The gene pool is small here, hence the spaniel conundrum. Embrace it and move on -rejoice in your specialness.